Part 50
Monday, May 22, 12:00*BEGIN RECORDING*
As we prepare for our next mission into the alien dimension, Strangleglove has more reports on new technologies he's discovered.
*END RECORDING*
Wednesday, May 24, 20:00
*BEGIN RECORDING*
We attempt to hire the best of the best soldiers. We've put them through extensive physical and psychological tests to ensure that they will perform their duties to the best of their abilities and follow the orders of their leaders. That is why whenever there is such a blatant violation of X-COM rules and regulations I become very angry. I am extremely disappointed with the actions of Chuck Charlie, Evil Astronaut, Jade and Koil. I've asked the soldiers involved with the incident to file reports, and I believe Redeker's tells the story the best.
----
From: Squad Leader Redeker, X-Com soldier
To: Director Otto Zander, X-Com Mega-Primus Operations
Date: May 24, 2084
Subject: Incident Report
It is with great sadness and a heavy heart that I must file this report. I want to state for the record that I do not condone the actions of myself and my fellow soldiers. I apologize for any breach of the rules and laws that have been layed down for us. Despite the outcome of the incident being positive, it does not excuse our actions. However I hope that you will understand I did what I did because I thought it the best course of action at the time, and because I felt that there was no other way to ensure the safety of X-COM soldiers and property.
Chuck Charlie: Man, you know what they have me doing? Pressure washing Welcome From Earf. What do they have you doing Astronaut?
Evil Astronaut: I WAS FORCED TO PERFORM SERVICE ON SOUP-BOT.
Koil: What did you guys do again?
Jade: Chuckie bitched out Mindfish for kill stealing, and Astronaut disobeyed Dini's orders.
Chuck Charlie: Oh fuck off, you goodie-two-shoes. Jade, you should be lucky YOU didn't get assigned to Mindfish's squad. It's impossible to get ahead being on that guy's team. The vets keep getting all the benefits, and us rookies get dumped on. After I'm done cleaning the ship they want me to polish Dini's new weapons.
Chuck Charlie: That's the exact same thing that's happening to us! We don't get a chance to prove our talents, and we'll get fired because of it! This sucks.
...
Hey guys...I have an idea. I saw the tech geeks install something on Welcome From Earf yesterday, some kind of cloaking device. Suppose we used that to sneak away undetected and destroy the next alien building by ourselves? We'd get all the credit for once!
Koil: Are you insane? You'll get killed.
Chuck Charlie: With our massive arsenal? Please. The micronoids are almost defeated anyway. We take the ship, go into the alien dimension, enter the building, fire a couple C-rounds into the helpless aliens and return as heroes! It'll be as easy as eating pancakes.
Jade: That's a really bad idea. Do you have any idea how much trouble you'll get in?
Chuck Charlie: They'll forgive us once we destroy the building! They won't even notice the ship's gone until long after we leave. Astronaut, do you want to keep polishing off Soup-Bot's frame? Don't you want some glory?
Evil Astronaut: IT WOULD BE AN APPRECIATED CHANGE OF PACE.
Chuck Charlie: Great! Let's go right now!
Jade: Well he does....I mean we could....it, uh....
Chuck Charlie: Don't tell me you're getting scared now! We have a job to do. If we go back to the base now they'll court martial us for sure. Keep focused, and stay in contact with each other on the radio. We'll search and....hey, what's this? Why am I broadcasting on channel six?
Evil Astronaut: I AM RECEIVING THE IDENTIFICATION SIGNAL FROM SIX X-COM TRANSMISSION DEVICES.
Chuck Charlie: Striker, what the hell are you talking about?
Jade: Look at him, he's covered in micronoids....
Striker: I'm afraid that in order to facilitate communications, we had to take over function of this body. I am, as you call it, "brainsucked".
Everyone became really freaked out at this point. We've never known brainsucked soldiers to be talkative and non-violent. Everyone kept their weapons ready in case this was a trap, or in case Striker tried to explode like a popper.
Chuck Charlie: What the hell?! Why aren't you trying to kill us?
Striker: Circumstances have changed. We know that you know all about us now, and there is no reason to continue with our charade.
Chuck Charlie: Well, what the hell do you want?
Striker: We wish to discuss and end to our hostilities. We can afford no more losses to your forces, and wish peaceful resolution to our problems, or else.
Chuck Charlie: Or else what?
Striker: We have a weapon that we can sent into your dimension that carries a large quantity of anti-matter. The resulting explosion would destroy most of your continent. We have no desire to use this weapon, but we will if you do not stop your hostile actions against us. The previous buildings you've destroyed can be rebuilt, but we cannot lose this one. A line must be drawn here. No further.
Chuck Charlie: If you don't want us destroying your buildings, why don't you shut down the dimension gates?
Striker: The dimension gates cannot be shut down, otherwise we would have done so already. Here is what we propose. We will provide X-COM with the specifications to build a device that when activated in sufficient numbers can transfer an entire planet between dimensions. Build these devices and send any habitable planet from your galaxy into our dimension. Do this, and then we will not be forced to retaliate and destroy your world.
Chuck Charlie: Uh...okay, I suppose that sounds reasonable. Maybe we can...
While Chuck and Striker were discussing things, I was probing Striker's mind with my mind bender. Hybrids cannot normally read the minds of micronoids, but I was able to read Striker's thoughts and thus those of the micronoids. I could confirm some of the things the he said, mainly, that this building was important and irreplaceable. They can't shut down the dimension gates without destroying their entire city. They do need a new habitable planet, but they only want it so they can regrow their empire and continue launching attacks against us. This stab at diplomacy was a last-ditch effort from a dying empire.
I could also confirm that they have no such weapon to use in retaliation against us. So I turned the corner, yelled for everyone to get back and filled Striker with C-Toxin.
This was when I compounded the error that Chuck Charlie made. I knew from my mind probe that this building was very important, and that we had an opportunity right here, right now, to deal a fatal blow to the aliens. If we left they would know that their last hope had failed and reinforced this position. If we attacked now, we might catch them off guard and destroy whatever important target they were protecting.
And hesitated. Killing this queen would be committing genocide. Despite the fact that they are our enemy, I couldn't help but sympathize with it. Being a hybrid I know what it's like to have people think of you as the enemy, and to know that some of them want to wipe you out. I decided I couldn't judge these creatures the same way that humans judged sectoids.
Signed,
Squad Leader Redeker
----
I'm very torn as to how I want to deal with Redeker, Chuck Charlie and the rest. I'm very angry on one hand that Chuck convinced the others to go on this dangerous mission without support, but I'm also incredibly impressed with the outcome. Redeker will be commended for his actions which I feel were appropriate under the circumstances. Chuck Charlie, Evil Astronaut, Jade and Koil will be temporarily taken off active duty pending further notice.
The news of this incident greatly surprised the rest of our soldiers, who were in a mission briefing at the time that Chuck commandeered Welcome From Earf.
There is one last matter to discuss. I went down to the containment unit in Evening Star to witness the transfer to Coolswa's Pad, and I can't help but feel very uncomfortable with its presence. I do not know what we are going to do with our recent acquision, or rather, what we should do.
*END RECORDING*
Bonus:
MEANWHILE, IN AN ALTERNATE UNIVERSE WHERE WE NEVER HAD THE CULT OF SIRIUS JOIN US AS ALLIES SINCE I DIDN'T PLAN ON THAT BUT I DID PLAN ON USING THIS LAME-ASS JOKESome Cool Guy posted:
He already referenced Starship Troopers, what makes you think he won't do Independence Day next?
Dr. Strangleglove: Vee have ziz new heavy dizruptor beam! Lets go to zee veapon testing range!